Scalene Triangles

The most often repeated commandment in the Bible is "Do not fear." It's in there over two hundred times. That means a couple of things, if you think about it. It means we are going to be afraid, and it means we shouldn't let fear boss us around. Before I realized we were supposed to fight fear, I thought of fear as a subtle suggestion in our subconscious designed to keep us safe, or more important, keep us from getting humiliated. And I guess it serves that purpose. But fear isn't only a guide to keep us safe; it's also a manipulative emotion that can trick us into living a boring life. 
--Donald Miller

A couple days ago I learned something pretty insightful in one of the unlikeliest of places.

As I've mentioned before, along with meeting Moroccan students I have made friends with several other international students. One of these is Rafael, a recently married college student from New Orleans. I met him while waiting for our interviews in Arabic during placement exams and now when we see him around, we say hello and sometimes he comes to chat a bit. A couple days ago I noticed the tattoo that he has on his arm, just above and on the inner curve of his elbow. It is a tattoo of two scalene triangles (just in case you aren't familiar with what they are), one red and one blue. I asked him about it, if it had any special significance or meaning to him. His answer was "I like triangles." In further conversation, he explained how his girlfriend (now his wife) wanted to get a tattoo and he agreed to get one with her, and decided that two triangles would be cool. And so he got two scalene triangles tattooed on his arm (his wife also got two triangles, although hers are equilateral). The story is quite random and getting triangles as a tattoo is quite the rash decision, but Rafael is a rather spur of the moment kind of person. Although this attitude could easily be taken to an unhealthy extreme, I found his philosophy convicting and profound.

Triangles are cool. Why not just go for something rather than over thinking it, adding it to the enormous To Do list of things that never get done? I am a person full of ideas but don't have much when it comes to follow through. (If I actually did everything I think would be great to do or that I say I will do "at some point"--which usually means never--they would have made a movie about me by now.) I easily get distracted and caught up in the mundane, whatever is most comfortable for the moment, forgetting about the goals that I've set for myself, the commitments that I have to others, and the purpose that I have to glorify Christ. So I was really impressed to see someone who decides to do something, impulsive as it is, and then actually goes for it. Does this mentality probably get Rafael into predicaments? I'm sure that it does. But I bet he rarely has to wonder about the what if's and if only's that I constantly face.

This is one of the biggest lessons, so far, that Morocco has taught me. Life is precious, time is precious, and God is offering me an opportunity within every day. I don't want to be standing before Him wishing I had gone for it, that I had relished each minute for all it was worth, that I had taken the chances that were given to me, that I had lived a story worth remembering that could inspire others and honor Him.

In order for that to happen, I need to make myself more uncomfortable more often. This was reiterated in me today as I was reading A Million Miles in a Thousand Years (the quote at the beginning of this entry was taken from this). I'm learning that I'm a person full of fear, and my biggest fear is that I will be uncomfortable. The day I left for Morocco, I was wishing for all I was worth that something would break the plane or my passport would go missing or a meteor would crash from the sky, anything that would cause an obstacle so I would have a legitimate excuse not to go. Coming here is probably the scariest thing that I have ever done, because I am not comfortable here. I'm constantly reminded that things here are foreign. But there have been moments in these past couple weeks where I have felt more keenly alive than ever before. Fear makes us real, and overcoming it is one of the greatest feelings in all the world. There is definitely such a thing as discretion and I need it, but at the same time I don't want to let fear trick me into leading a mundane life anymore. It blows my mind that over 200 times in Scripture it says "DO NOT FEAR." It must be pretty important. But coming to think of it, God could do such incredible things in me, things I can't even wrap my head around, if He could show me how to stop letting fear get in the way.

So, I highly doubt that coming out of this trip I will be getting tattoos of triangles on my arm. But hopefully I will be living a little more intentionally in my day to day life. Just one more Donald Miller quote to finish off:

If I learned anything...it's that there is a force in the world that doesn't want us to live good stories. It doesn't want us to face our issues, to face our fear and bring something beautiful into the world. I guess what I'm saying is, I believe God wants us to create beautiful stories, and whatever it is that isn't God wants us to create meaningless stories, teaching the people around us that life just isn't worth living.

Face our fear, and bring something beautiful into the world.

Til later,