Lasts (for now)

I will readily admit that I am pathetically sentimental. I keep the most random and mundane things (such as receipts, ticket stubs, notes and cards, etc) not having the heart to throw something out because I get the idea in my head that the object had or is going to have meaning at some point or another. I find myself attached to something that in and of itself does not seem particularly unique or valuable, because it ties me to some bigger principle or person that means a lot to me. For the record, being so sentimental makes letting go difficult. Which makes goodbyes difficult. Which has made the last few days (and I'm very sure the day to come) difficult as well.

Today being my last full day at home, my sentimentality was in full gear. Also it was my amazing little sister's birthday today. Can't believe it was 9 years ago that Bella came into our lives and made the world a more joyful place! Along with being shocked at how fast she is growing up and that time is flying, she won't always be the little girl that she is...in my subconscious I kept on thinking of how many "lasts" I was experiencing before I leave. This is the last time I will be driving along this road before I leave. This is the last Dunkin Donuts iced coffee I will have until I come home (unless the weather is too cold by then!) This is my last time seeing this person, talking to that person on the phone, seeing the sun go down across the street.

Now I--and everyone else--must keep in mind that it's not like this is the last time EVER. I'm not leaving forever, or even for a year. Really two months is not such a long time (although right now it's feeling pretty darn huge). Perspective is something I really must keep throughout this process. God is giving me precious time and an incredible opportunity, and I need not focus on what I am missing or leaving temporarily.  Jim Elliot once said "Wherever you are, be all there." This is one of my biggest prayers going into this trip. I want to be 100% engaged in where I'm at, learning and absorbing what I can in the time that I have. Because again, in the long run, two months is not such a long time, and it would be squandering to waste it.

I have been given 2 months. 8 weeks. 60 days. 1440 hours. 86400 minutes. 5184000 seconds. Praying that it will be time well spent, for God's glory.

As somewhat of an aside, I want to thank everyone so much for the outpouring of prayers and support. I cannot imagine going into this trip feeling more loved. I have had countless text messages, emails, phone calls, and conversations with people who just want to let me know they are proud of me and will be praying for me and are here for whatever I need. I don't know that everyone who studies abroad gets this much blessing going in!  I could not be more grateful, God has given me so much reassurance through the love and support of people He has put in my life. I love you all!  :)

Well, now I'm off to another "last", which is my last night sleeping at home!


Til later,